Tying the Knot #8
: Now Playing "You're the One" by Greta Van Fleet
Taylor + Tom
When we say you guys are our muse, we really mean it. In this Tying the Knot, we’d like to introduce you to a special couple who helped us create a whole new design for Hiddenspace. Continue reading to find out the story behind it all!
“I squished his fingers while trying to help and it was so awkward and embarrassing. It really felt like I was 16 years old again. ”
Q. How did you guys first meet and fall in love?
A. We met in college! We both attended the South Dakota School of Mines & Technology in Rapid City, South Dakota. One of the clubs on campus is the Formula HardRocker Racing Team and on this team, the students design, engineer, manufacture, and build a miniature formula one race car to take to compete in international competitions each year. Tom grew up working on cars and loves to race so he was a member of this team throughout the entirety of his studies. I had a roommate who was on the team and one day (October 8, 2018 to be exact), she asked for a ride to one of the engineering meetings and I decided to stick around to see what this thing that was consuming so much of her time was all about! As soon as I walked in the door, I noticed this shockingly handsome redhead sitting across the room. My thought was, “Wow, he’s really cute.” And then, I didn’t think twice about him for the rest of the meeting.After that, I decided to join the team as their secretary and I attended every meeting and event to take notes for them. Tom and I saw each other multiple times a week for months. I had never heard anyone say a single negative thing about him (which really stood out in that close-knit college club) and the better I got to know him, the more time I wanted to spend with him. The first time we ever spent one-on-one time together was when I accidentally locked my keys in my car at my church. He drove me to it after one of our meetings and helped me get them out. I squished his fingers while trying to help and it was so awkward and embarrassing. It really felt like I was 16 years old again.A few months later, we attended the previously mentioned Formula competition and we got to experience and observe each other perform in the high-stress conditions while working as a team. It sounds so cheesy and technical but that really helped us decide if we were going to work as a couple or not. If we should even give it a chance. We decided we were dating the day we got back from that competition.
“The irrational answer to this is, ‘I knew I wanted to marry him when he bought me new windshield wiper blades and replaced them for me in the pouring rain just a few weeks after we’d started dating.’”
Q. How did you know you wanted to marry each other and who wanted to tie the knot first?
A. Tom: As we got to know each other and started dating, I was struck by how caring and friendly Taylor is. Her friendships are meaningful, and she is always thinking of ways to make others smile. I knew I wanted to be with her forever because I knew she would be a good companion, and that we could support each other to be the best people we can. I know I can trust anything she tells me and that her intentions are always positive and for the better of us both. I haven’t met anyone else like her and I am so happy to be with her. I think that Taylor knew we wanted to get married before I did, though I certainly was not far behind.
Taylor: It didn’t take me long to know I wanted to marry him so I think I wanted to tie the knot first. The irrational answer to this is, ‘I knew I wanted to marry him when he bought me new windshield wiper blades and replaced them for me in the pouring rain just a few weeks after we’d started dating.’ But the more logical answer is, ‘I knew he was the one when I was having a real problem for the first time in our relationship.’ Instead of yelling at me and getting defensive (like many example relationships I’d grown up knowing), he sat down with me, waited for me to be ready to explain my concern, and simply said, “Okay, I’ll work on it.” His consistent patience, empathy, and genuine desire to communicate effectively convinced me that he was the partner I’d been searching for.
“I couldn’t find a design that had everything Tom and I were looking for so I worked with Jay to design my dream ring. So together, Jay and I created the Ivy Ring!”
Q. Why did you choose Hiddenspace, how did you hear about us, and what made you decide on this specific ring?
A. I knew that I wanted an alternative engagement ring. Something elegant but out of the box. As boring as this is, I think I was searching alternative engagement ring tags on Instagram and Hiddenspace checked all of my boxes! I couldn’t find a design that had everything Tom and I were looking for so I worked with Jay to design my dream ring. So together, Jay and I created the Ivy Ring! I’ve only had it for just over a year but I stare at it every day because it’s just so gorgeous and so perfect for me.
“We sat by the water and he said, ‘I know life is stressful right now but I also know that I love you.’”
Q. Tell us about the details of the proposal & the wedding. How did you feel? How did it go?
A. Our proposal and wedding planning were non-traditional and swapped. Tom graduated in January of 2020 and moved to Nebraska for work. We were long distance and decided in March of 2021 to start planning a wedding since I would soon be graduating and we didn’t want to move in together until after we’d married. I moved down to Nebraska after graduation and moved in with his parents since my family lives in Colorado. Tom’s mom is simply amazing and helped me with a lot of the plans. We had about 6 months to pull it all together and we managed!
I started working with Jay on the ring in June of 2021 and when we’d decided on a design, he switched over to communicating with Tom so that he could still plan a proposal. I obviously knew it was coming but I had no idea when, where, or how.
In August, Tom and I attended an annual summer lake cabin trip up to Minnesota we have with a handful of our college friends. I had a feeling I’d be seeing my ring that weekend. The start of the trip wasn’t great. I found out that I’d been rejected for a job I’d been interviewing for for two months and I was having some problems with my wedding dress. There were a lot of tears shed in the car on the way up to the lake.
There were some other hardships being experienced by our friends at that time so the weekend was heavy and just not quite the vacation that it usually was. The last night was particularly overwhelming as we were about to be shoved back to reality the next day.
I sat by the campfire and cried some more, ridden with the stress of continuing my job hunt and wedding planning. Tom asked me to join him on a walk so I could talk out my emotions. My mind was consumed by these stresses and all I was focused on was letting him in on what was bothering me so much. After we’d talked for a bit, he asked if I wanted to go sit by the water. Our friends were listening to music by the campfire and as Tom and I walked down to the lake, I heard our song (You’re the One by Greta Van Fleet) start to play. I was completely oblivious as to what was about to happen. I just said, “Awe, it’s our song. What a coincidence.” We sat by the water and he said, “I know life is stressful right now but I also know that I love you.” That’s all I remember verbatim but the rest was along the lines of how we make a great team and he wants to keep working together to get through the stresses in life. I cried some more and accepted the ring before joking about how horrible it would’ve been if the ring had accidentally ended up in the lake.
Because of how stressful planning the wedding was, the day itself couldn’t have gone smoother. There were no issues with the food or the venue, all of my help showed up on time and prepared, there was no drama and no mishaps. And the weather?? We got married at a pumpkin patch in October. The weather was gorgeous! Our incredible photographer documented the day so perfectly. It’s such a fond memory for both of us.
“The radio was crackly and faint and rain pounded on the windows. We sat without saying a word and just held each other, enjoying the moment. We talk about it from time to time because it was the most ethereal experience we’ve ever had. The kind of moment you can never replicate.”
Q. Describe your romantic night or the most romantic day you guys have ever shared.
A. One of our favorite places in Rapid City is called Skyline Drive. It’s a road that winds up into the hills and the top of it looks out over the entire city. We’d been up there together a couple of times but one rainy night about a month into our dating relationship, we took Tom’s ‘79 C10 up Skyline Drive. We parked at a lookout and turned on a Spotify playlist called License To Chill.
The radio was crackly and faint and rain pounded on the windows. We sat without saying a word and just held each other, enjoying the moment.
We talk about it from time to time because it was the most ethereal experience we’ve ever had. The kind of moment you can never replicate.
“Suck up your pride and tell your partner what’s bothering you. [...] It is going to be uncomfortable, it’s going to hurt, but it’s going to heal. [...] And remember, it’s you two against the problem, not you two against each other.”
Q. Any advice to couples or newlyweds? Anything else you’d like to share with the world?
A. A lot of people say it, but it really is so, so important. Communicate. The topic of communication is very overwhelming because many couples don’t learn how to communicate very well in the beginning and it’s VERY difficult to try to incorporate after bad habits are established. Suck up your pride and tell your partner what’s bothering you. Talk about it. Not only for your mentality’s sake, but also for your partner. When I’m upset about something, it makes Tom sad to know that something is wrong. In a sense, I owe it to him to be honest, whether it’s his fault or not. He’s my partner in everything and he deserves to know what’s going on. But he also wants to know! It’s uncomfortable to be vulnerable. But that’s how genuine progress is made. If you approach a situation with ingenuine intentions, authentic progress is simply not a possibility. Be tactfully honest about what you want and how you wish to get there. It is going to be uncomfortable, it’s going to hurt, but it’s going to heal. Work together. Learn together.And remember, it’s you two against the problem, not you two against each other.